Angel Xu

How did growing up Asian make you feel? 

Growing up, I am embarrassed to admit that I didn’t like being Asian. I felt like an outsider and I would always try to hide my heritage. When my mom spoke to me in Chinese publicly, I’d answer in English. I would skip lunch to buy cookies and snapple because I didn’t want my classmates to comment on how my dumplings smelled. ‍

How do you feel now? What does being part of the AAPI community mean to you?

Today, I am so extraordinarily proud and thankful to be Asian and to be a part of the fastest growing ethnic group in the US. I love living in a large metropolitan city like New York where I can meet and connect with so many different types of people, both those who identify as AAPI and those who don’t. 

I am lucky to be part of an AAPI community and I have a built-in sense of belonging with an extended group of family and friends. Personally being Chinese, I love that the diaspora of Chinese immigrants has spread to basically every major city in the US. Everywhere I go, if I’m missing home, I can find Chinatown and be reminded of home. Food was such a love language growing up and I’m able to satisfy this need wherever I go. 

‍If you had to recommend someone your favorite AAPI owned restaurant, where would it be and what should they order?

Nami Nori is one of my favorite sushi restaurants - get the Signature Set to try all the best rolls on the menu. If you’re feeling indulgent, ask for the uni with tuna and add caviar on top. *Chefs kiss*

My other favorite restaurant is the coolest kid on the block, Bonnie’s, a Cantonese-American restaurant in Williamsburg. Grab a couple of friends + request the lazy Susan party table, start with a round of Long Island Iced teas and order 1 of every dish on the menu. Smaller group? They have their own take on the McDonald’s McRib. Order that and a chrysanthemum salad.  If you have room, get the sundae. ‍

Who inspires you?

My mom - she emigrated here in the early 90’s. The type of bravery it takes to get on a flight to a foreign country with no fluency in the language and start a new life - it’s a level of courage I hope to come half as close to emulating. ‍

What are you listening to right now? (we'll make a playlist)

I have a hyperfixation on the song “Daylight” by Joji. I also love Cafuné’s song Tek It, they’re getting buzzy. I also always have a soft spot for  Anderson .Paak, Jhene Aiko and my not-so-guilty pleasure is Olivia Rodrigo. ‍

Are there any AAPI artists or designers you've been eyeing lately?  

I have new trousers from Peter Do that I absolutely love. I also love BonbonWhims for fun jewelry and I’ve always had a soft spot for 3.1 Phillip Lim. 

How do you unwind after a particularly long/stressful day?

I like to go on walks with my dog, go to my favorite class at East River Pilates and to be honest - I love watching tv. Right now, I am watching Panchiko on Apple TV and recently saw Everything, Everywhere All At Once in theaters - this was probably the only movie I have ever seen that I can safely say, has changed my life. 

Any advice you could share for someone struggling with their identity?

You are not alone and you will not feel like this forever. I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood and I never quite fit in. I didn’t have the same home life that my peers had, I didn’t feel pretty enough and I just didn’t feel quite right. Once I grew up and moved to New York, I was able to figure out who I authentically was. I found my support system, my friends and I was able to be myself. I am still learning who I am but I’m not afraid of taking risks and standing out anymore. 

Another big help was starting therapy. I understand therapy is a huge financial commitment so if you have the means to, I implore each and everyone to go. If you are younger, tap into your guidance counselors in high school and mental health resources at colleges.‍

How can people get involved to help their AAPI communities?

At the most basic level, go to AAPI owned shops, restaurants, coffee shops and donate to Heart of Dinner. Educate yourself on the history of Asian Americans in this country, this is a topic that was not covered in my public school education. One of my favorite books is Strangers From A Different Shore by Ronald Takaki. 

Additionally, do your research on politics at a local level. Vote for those who will actually affect change for the AAPI community.‍

Why do you like supporting Heart of Dinner and their mission? 

I love supporting Heart of Dinner because there are tangible results. They utilize donations, purchase goods from local businesses thus supporting the local economy and then deliver prepared meals and groceries to at-risk East Asian elders in Chinatown.